Sunday, October 13, 2013

Mirror Mirror

I have had something on my heart for quite some time now and feel I need to get it out in the open. This is not meant to offend anyone who may have said this directly to me or Aaron or have thought this very thing. Rather, it is just my way of letting you all know how I (I should include Aaron in this as well) feel regardless of what may be.

Since bringing Alexa home (seriously I think we heard this phrase the 1st week she was in our home) I hardly go a few weeks without hearing, "she looks just like you" or "she looks just like Aaron". While I am very flattered considering I think Alexa is a beautiful little girl, whether or not she looks like me makes no difference. When we decided to adopt we went into the process with an open heart and open mind. Alexa could have jet black hair and dark skin, look absolutely nothing like me, and I would love her just the same. Some parents' biological children are a mirror image of them and others are complete individuals from head to toe. It is the same in an adoption but the LOVE is just the same!

I think many people who have not struggled with infertility, let alone have not gone through an adoption, do not understand that it is not about who looks like who. Many times I feel someone is trying to make me feel better about our "situation". We are proud of who Alexa is, who we are as a family, who her birth family is, and that she was adopted. I think many adoptive parents would say the same. She will grow up knowing who her birth parents are and that she looks very much like them as well. The fact that she resembles us may deter questions such as, "well why do I have dark/light skin and you don't?", that many interracial families have to answer but we will still get questions about her adoption. It is a part of who she is and as her parents we want to instill a type of confidence in her surrounding her adoption. It is not a taboo subject in our household. While some adoptive parents will not agree with being open about telling her adoption story to random people (now I don't tell everyone I meet in the grocery store haha) we want Alexa to grow up knowing that we view her adoption as a wonderful part of her life and ours.

Speaking of Miss Alexa, she just turned 9 months old this week and is into everything!