Unanswered Questions

I only have 2 weeks left at my current job. 2 WEEKS! A month and a  half ago I didn't think that leaving my current job was even possible. Alexa's adoption isn't even finalized, I am a new and frazzled mother of a 5 month old, and I enjoy what I do overall so the thought wasn't much more than just a thought not long ago. Then God moved a few mountains, worked on my heart and here I am, starting a new job that I am already ecstatic about in August! I am going to get to spend more time with my daughter and doing other things I love, a dream that I have always had when envisioning my life in the future.

I have finally found a bit more balance in my prayer life since bringing Alexa home and am welcoming the bits of quiet time I get to spend with God. I still find myself questioning God at times and asking him "what next?" I am an impatient person if you didn't know this already. It is a big struggle of mine. I always want to be one step ahead but God has made me open my eyes to the realization that no matter how far ahead I think I am he is the one in control!

As my last day draws near Aaron and I have been asking ourselves many big questions. Do we move a bit closer to work?, Do we build or buy a home?, Do we want to adopt again (ok this one is already answered, YES!)?, How soon do we adopt again?, Do we try more fertility treatments again? Do we have the money to adopt again, to build a home, to follow our dreams?  So many unanswered questions but I know God has this under control I just need to listen and move in the direction he tells my heart to move.

On a lighter note here are a few pictures from the past few weeks:

 So happy to be 5 months old!

 Favorite time of the day...BATH TIME!

Happy 1st Father's Day Aaron. I always knew you would make one amazing daddy. 

Trying sweet potatoes for the first time!

Emotional Debt?

Wow it has been awhile since my last post! The weeks have been flying by lately! Alexa continues to reach milestone after milestone. We recently introduced her to her first solid food and so far so good! It is amazing how quickly babies learn new things. I think almost every day I notice her doing something new.

I haven't had a chance to upload new pictures to my computer the past few weeks but did want to share this awesome article from author and adoptive father, Russell Elkins:

http://adoptionvoicesmagazine.com/parents-perspective/emotional-debt-in-open-adoption/#.UbkScxa9bFI

Every day, no matter how tired or discouraged I might be, I feel immensely blessed to have Alexa in my life. However, seeing my daughter smile and reach for me (her mommy!) came at a cost (and no I am not talking about a dollar amount). This is one fact that will never change. Just like Russell, Aaron and I are forever in debt to Alexa's birthparents for allowing us to have our dream of parenthood, and to be called mommy and daddy, come true. We love them and they have become a part of our family. This concept is hard for many people I talk to about our adoption to understand and a better topic for another time. Regardless, this life that I am living now brings me so much joy and happiness and in the end that is what matters, not how my family was formed or who is a part of it day to day.