Good Morning!

I have been up for well over an hour now! It is Sunday morning and I am not entirely sure why I am up so early. I am not even up this early during the week on some days. Nothing in particular seemed to wake me. Usually if I wake up early it is because the cats are bothering me for food or I have to use the restroom, but today the house was peaceful and I sure felt comfy in my bed.

Nevertheless, I am awake. Awake enough to start a load of laundry or go to the gym. As I walked out to our living room I remembered a blog post from another woman saying that when she wakes early she uses it as a time to spend with God. So since it is way to cold out this morning to do anything but sit on the couch with my robe, a blanket, and a cup of coffee that is what I did.

I opened my bible to 1 Peter and just started reading. However, I  wasn't feeling connected to the scriptures or to God so I prayed, well more like started talking out loud, to God (it is a good thing Aaron is still in bed lol). I asked God to show me/tell me what he wanted me to know this morning. So I closed my Bible, closed my eyes and just let it fall open to any old page. The page that it landed on I would start reading until I felt my prayer had been answered. When I opened my eyes it was on page 848 which was the ending of Jeremiah 28 and the beginning of Jeremiah 29. So I picked up at Jeremiah 29 and started to read and came to the ever famous scripture verse "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). I knew this is what God had intended me to see. Even though I have seen it and read it many times before it caused my heart to stir, open up and the rest of my prayers this morning came easy.

Although I often say this verse to myself multiple times throughout the month when I am feeling anxious about anything, reading it this morning was a nice reminder that God truly means what he says. Struggling with infertility can make you feel punished by God, like you did something wrong in your former life and now deserve to be barren forever. Afterall, aren't children a blessing from God, and isn't having children what God intended married couples to do? If we can't have children then God must be punishing us in some way, right? For two years this thought has often crept into my head! This particular scripture verse has been a lifesaver to me. I know we talked about it in school when I was younger but until my sister-in-law reminded me of it after our miscarriage I hadn't given it much thought (Praise be to God for putting certain people in your life, thank you Jamie!). It has taken me a long time to come to terms with this promise from our Father and some days I still find myself struggling. It helps for me to think that this season of suffering through infertility and waiting throughout this adoption process is just that, a "season", a period of time that is all part of God's plan.