Redeemed!

I am so excited it is the weekend! We get to see D & S again which will be much better than having to communicate via phone, text, or email. Don't get me wrong, I love our conversations but sometimes it is better to talk face to face. I have been feeling very emotional lately about everything. We have less than 9 weeks until the baby's due date. Besides a few things here and there we are ready to welcome a child into our home. It comes at another's expense, however, and I cannot help but be sad that another has to lose a child in order for us to gain a child. At the same time I am so happy this is going to be an open adoption so that this baby will know where she gets the color of her hair, her funny laugh or other small quirks that will make her unique. I am so happy we will all visit eachother and hope that over time our relationship will grow and change as we all do.

More and more I get asked the question, "what happens if they change their mind?" While this is in the back of my mind that is where it stays most of the time. I cannot dwell on this constantly. This baby is not ours right now and we know that. I have had several others look at me in disbelief over the fact that this could happen. Adoption is a crazy (but AWESOME) process with many rules and regulations. We will deal with the situation if it arises. We will be sad but will also know that this was not the child intended for us. I know I say this over and over again but God has a plan for you, for us, for this child and for its' expectant parents. Only God knows what will truly happen in the next 8 weeks.  Knowing this my job is to "be still" and let Him do His work. This is harder than it sounds, believe me, but it is really the only choice I have to stay sane throughout this time of waiting.

As the holiday season approaches this time of waiting does become more difficult. I feel surrounded by babies, children and happy families. While knowing that this baby will be born soon fills me with joy it is still hard to hear others talk so lighthearted about their children, pregnancy and childbirth. Please know that if I am not quick to return your calls or fail to attend a party it has less to do with you and more to do with my emotions. I have come a long way from feeling like I would never be able to attend another baby shower but it does not mean that I don't have a lump in my throat the entire time I am congratulating you. At one point in this week I was having a tough time dealing with all of the upcoming festivities. This morning my devotion reminded me of the struggles of others in times past and how God often works in these struggles. Please take a few minutes to read it if you can, it is worth it!

Ashes to Beauty

 

For I know that my Redeemer lives. (Job 19:25)